always.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

That was the last straw.

And I felt something in my heart snapped.

I can tolerate all your scoldings
because i understand that at times, i was in the wrong.

I can tolerate George's beating and hitting and yelling and screaming of F words
because i know that at times, im the one who started it..

I can put up with the fact that you told me off even though sometimes it was really george's fault
because i know this is life,
im older, im a girl,
im supposed to be muted when George hits me
instead of further provoking him with words such as "gay" "idiot"

I can even ignore the fact that you treat me differently from george
because he is a son.
Im not.
He is the youngest.
Im not.
He is young(but i believe that is certainly not an excuse for him to behave this way)

I can put up with you saying that i am just throwing a tantrum on George because i dont want to wash the plates etc..
you can say that,
not because its true,
but because i can understand and accept the fact you do not understand me.
I can accept it because you did not mean to hurt my feelings..

BUT
What i really cannot stand is when you tell me this after george hit me hard in the face twice.

You said: Serve you right being hit by george.
(你说：他打你活该）

然后，我落泪了
我一直告诉自己跟他过不去一定是我不对是我暴躁
是我幼稚是我不该

很多次我都让自己相信让着他是理所当然的
我从来都没有跟他计较过
因为他是我弟弟因为你是我妈妈

可是刚才你的话却把我震醒了
我承认他关我电脑我很气
更气他撒谎：我不知道谁关的~

我忍不住说了一句：骗人的孩子是gay
明显的我说中了
他生气地将靠枕砸向我的脸

虽然不是很疼但是我感到侮辱
说了句：打女人的男人是gay

然后他骂了一些脏到不能再脏的话
（你当然听不懂啊）
接着他趁我没注意
又将靠枕往我脸上砸
这次比较痛把眼镜砸歪了
弄疼了鼻子好像被人揍了一拳似的

爸爸进来一看叫我闭嘴

你呢？

你说了些什么？

你说我活该。

虽然我从小就被你们教导：
不准打弟弟
不要逗他（这个嘛比较困难）

但是我很清楚知道不那不是活该
贺世耀他也有不对的时候

为什么他先打我永远都是我先挨一句：你给我少说两句
为什么他打我你们总是认为是我引起的

我以前也以为爸爸比较喜欢弟弟至少妈妈你能了解我的感受
你也是女的嘛

可是直到今天我才发觉原来你一点也不了解我的感受
我忘了你是你家最小的你说过姥姥、姥爷都很疼你

所以
当我落泪时
你没有安慰我
却又说了句：“这么大了还不懂事听了都烦
整天逗贺世耀。。”和一些更难听的话。。

用英语讲：That's the last straw。
我就是这个意思了

偏心随便了
可是你说的“活该” 真的真的太伤人
让我太伤心了

可能还是我太天真了。


Oh hello. I am Ava and I am 17. Strawberries and Cream and novels are my favorite things. You can mail me at: My other link 1 My other link 2 My other link 3 Insert Cbox code here Friend 1 Friend 2 Friend 3 Friend 4 Friend 5 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 September 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 June 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 March 2013 April 2013 May 2013 June 2014 Bituwin - template Dementee - image Words from Before It's Too Late by Goo Goo Dolls. Hit counter code here	Wednesday, December 10, 2008 That was the last straw. And I felt something in my heart snapped. I can tolerate all your scoldings because i understand that at times, i was in the wrong. I can tolerate George's beating and hitting and yelling and screaming of F words because i know that at times, im the one who started it.. I can put up with the fact that you told me off even though sometimes it was really george's fault because i know this is life, im older, im a girl, im supposed to be muted when George hits me instead of further provoking him with words such as "gay" "idiot" I can even ignore the fact that you treat me differently from george because he is a son. Im not. He is the youngest. Im not. He is young(but i believe that is certainly not an excuse for him to behave this way) I can put up with you saying that i am just throwing a tantrum on George because i dont want to wash the plates etc.. you can say that, not because its true, but because i can understand and accept the fact you do not understand me. I can accept it because you did not mean to hurt my feelings.. BUT What i really cannot stand is when you tell me this after george hit me hard in the face twice. You said: Serve you right being hit by george. (你说：他打你活该）然后，我落泪了我一直告诉自己跟他过不去一定是我不对是我暴躁是我幼稚是我不该很多次我都让自己相信让着他是理所当然的我从来都没有跟他计较过因为他是我弟弟因为你是我妈妈可是刚才你的话却把我震醒了我承认他关我电脑我很气更气他撒谎：我不知道谁关的~ 我忍不住说了一句：骗人的孩子是gay 明显的我说中了他生气地将靠枕砸向我的脸虽然不是很疼但是我感到侮辱说了句：打女人的男人是gay 然后他骂了一些脏到不能再脏的话（你当然听不懂啊）接着他趁我没注意又将靠枕往我脸上砸这次比较痛把眼镜砸歪了弄疼了鼻子好像被人揍了一拳似的爸爸进来一看叫我闭嘴你呢？你说了些什么？你说我活该。虽然我从小就被你们教导：不准打弟弟不要逗他（这个嘛比较困难）但是我很清楚知道不那不是活该贺世耀他也有不对的时候为什么他先打我永远都是我先挨一句：你给我少说两句为什么他打我你们总是认为是我引起的我以前也以为爸爸比较喜欢弟弟至少妈妈你能了解我的感受你也是女的嘛可是直到今天我才发觉原来你一点也不了解我的感受我忘了你是你家最小的你说过姥姥、姥爷都很疼你所以当我落泪时你没有安慰我却又说了句：“这么大了还不懂事听了都烦整天逗贺世耀。。”和一些更难听的话。。用英语讲：That's the last straw。我就是这个意思了偏心随便了可是你说的“活该” 真的真的太伤人让我太伤心了可能还是我太天真了。 8:32 PM ·